


We just have to keep trying, ok?

by Bearonamountain



Category: Original Work, r/gonewildaudio
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:48:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28321884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bearonamountain/pseuds/Bearonamountain
Summary: [Script offer] We just have to keep trying, ok? [Part 2] [F4M] or [F4F] [Self-loathing] [Past failed relationships] [Reconciliation] [Loathsome] [Kissing] [L-bombs] [Mentions of sex] [No actual sex] [Coffee] [SWF?]





	We just have to keep trying, ok?

[Script offer] We just have to keep trying, ok? [Part 2] [F4M] or [F4F] [Self-loathing] [Past failed relationships] [Reconciliation] [Loathsome] [Kissing] [L-bombs] [Mentions of sex] [No actual sex] [Coffee] [SWF?]

Hi!

This is my first script without actual sexual content, although sex is briefly mentioned. I don’t know exactly what counts as SFW and not, but maybe I’ll just let you make up your own mind. The script is about a girl suffering from some mental health issues, and she has a hard time trusting that her romantic partner will keep being there for her. Will she find the stability she so desperately needs? Or will she push another loved one away?

I just felt a need to write this tonight because I felt some stuff that was hard to verbalize in other forms, and this was my way of getting some therapy, I guess. I hope someone out there can enjoy it.

Feel free to tweak this to your liking if you want to perform it. I love getting comments on my stuff, including anonymous ones. 

Lots of bear hugs to everyone out there  
/Bear

The script

[In your living room, with your romantic partner]

[Sad] I’m sorry baby. You shouldn’t have to see me like this. I’ve only ever wanted to be strong for you. I’ve wanted you to rely on me, and now you can’t. I’ve shown you who I really am, haven’t I? You can’t unsee this. What did you dream that I was like? What did you say you admired about me? That I’m “strong”? That I “never let anything get me down”? What does it feel like now that you’ve found me out? I fooled you for a long time, didn’t I? I almost made you believe some of that. I made you hope. Hope for something you had dreamed of, and now it’s broken. I’m broken, and there’s nothing I can take back. You saw it happen. Why are you next to me?

[Pause]

[Distant] No, please don’t hold me. You’re only holding on to some idea of me that never existed. Isn’t it better if you just leave me here? This is how it always ends anyway. It’s fitting. Fitting that I push you away like this. I don’t want to be close to you. I’ll hurt you, and none of it is fair. I wish to god I could just live on with you, the way I almost was. Like a distant idea, vague, untarnished by what this world has made me into in reality.

[Pause]

[Sad] No, I told you. Why do you insist on this? No one will help me out of this. Don’t think you are any different, ok? You don’t know how this plays out in the end, and I do, just believe me. I’ve seen this before, too many times.

[Pause]

[Upset] Exactly. That. I’ve felt exactly those strokes at my arm. I’ve felt exactly that way of holding my hand, of leaning closer to me, of kissing my forehead. I know what you think, and I know why this will end up with you walking out of here or holding a grudge against me until you burst. You…

[Cynical] You start off like this. So caring and tender, right? You believe if you just show me the love and affection no one else has, somehow you will turn my mood around, right? And then what? You imagine me lighten up, don’t you? You imagine me feeling your pulse so close to me, getting warmer inside every minute from your sweet signs of intimacy, right? And then you think my heart-rate is going to raise, that my hands will start moving across your body, that my tears will stop, that my heat will envelope you, that I will grab you firmly and tell you to pin me to the wall, that I will wrap my legs around you and tell you how fucking wet you’re making me, right? And what happens when none of that ever comes? When I remain here, the same sobbing, broken mess? I already know the things you will try to tell yourself, and I know exactly how little you believe in them deep down. Spare me. Spare us both. Just leave me. You finally know what you’re getting yourself into. I won’t satiate you by going down on you or getting giggly with laughter with you. I’ll be… this. And you don’t want this. You want a girlfriend capable of giving you what you want, what you have a bodily need for, and I can’t do that.

[Pause]

[Melancholy] So leave me. Don’t stay here and prolong the inevitable. Don’t try telling yourself that you will be any different. What?

[Pause]

[Sad] That doesn’t matter anymore. “We just have to keep trying”? We’ve done that, baby. It didn’t lead us anywhere. It led us right here, which is nowhere, square one, square none. Do you even…

[Pause]

[Distant] You… love me? That sounds good, yeah. But this isn’t some story. This is us. Do you think your… love… can take you through this? For how long? Where is the point you would give up and leave it all behind? I’m not like the girls in your dreams. I’m not horny and cheerful. I’m not grateful for every second of this life, or at peace with myself, and I’m not your problem. Do you…

[Pause]

… Love me? You said it again. I… I… can’t say it. Not yet. I’m not like you. I’m not “emotionally mature” or any of that other fucking impossible shit people should be If they want to be “ready for a relationship”. I…

[Pause]

… Love you. Fuck. I said it. Did it make any difference for you? I’ve said it to myself but… it’s hard, ok? Look, you can’t expect me to say that to you every day, like I know you want. Please, don’t lie. You want someone who’s already dealt with this shit. Why do you bother with me?

[Pause]

“Keep trying”. You still stick to that. You make that sound so simple. I don’t know what I even want anymore. Baby… I’m sorry I’m so distant and cold. Please, just hold me.

[Kissing]

[While softly kissing the listener] I’ll make it up to you somehow. Maybe I’ll let you lean on me tomorrow. Maybe we will wake up from this and it will all have been a dream, right?

[Stopping yourself] You wouldn’t want that? Why not? Do you think this was a pretty sight? I just don’t understand you sometimes…

[Pause]

Really? Hearing me say that… was it that important to you? Well… thank you. I can’t say it didn’t take effort. Thank you for being patient with me. Can I kiss you again?

[kissing]

[While softly kissing the listener] We… just have to keep trying, ok? I know, I’ve made fun of that, but in all of its simplicity… it’s true, you know. It’s the only thing we can do. And I want to keep doing it with you. It’s ok if you get frustrated, baby. It’s even ok if you get resentful. I want to have you with me, like this, no matter what you happen to be.

[Kissing]

[Laughing] You think? Really? You think I, of all people, sound “emotionally mature?” I…

[Kissing] I love you. Fuck I said it again. Look, just don’t get too used to… [The listener shuts you up with a kiss]

… Thank you. [Kissing] Thank you baby. Hold me.

[Pause]

[Calm] Do you… want some coffee?


End file.
